Fred The Squirrel - A tale of drug addiction and recovery!

The same story has been told a thousand times.  Squirrel falls from tree.  Squirrel is rescued by a passerby.  Squirrel is named Fred.  Fred is fine for the first couple of months.  Nuts are cracked and provided.  Water is plentiful.  A stuffed Nemo is provided as a substitute for his sister that didn't make it.  Fred is let out of his cage to roam around the house, but he never strays far from his domain.

It was bound to happen.  Fred gets bored with everyday items such as pecans, bread ties, wooden boxes, he needs something more.  While everyone was rustling around after lunch, he sees his chance.  His mistress turns her back for a moment and he seizes upon her pill box.  Inside the box is a pain pill, stool softener, nerve pill, and restless leg pill.  He can't discern which is which, but he thinks that they are most beautiful nuts he has ever seen.  Seconds later the lady realizes what has happened.  The family is put on alert and the search is on for the pills.  He is known for hoarding nuts, so maybe he put the pills away for later.  They find bits and pieces of the nerve pill, the entire pain pill, and the stool softener.  They never found the restless leg pill or about 3/4's of the nerve pill.  Fred takes a turn for the worse.

His master gathers him up and settles in his chair for what he is sure is the last call for Fred.  Fred is lifeless, limp, barely breathing.  His heart rate is usually fast as a stop watch, but now it's struggling to make one beat.  Tears are shed.  Goodbyes are said.  Then, suddenly,  the paparazzi camera snaps a picture of the dying wire walker and with haste, Fred bolts awake.  Everyone is astounded that he is alive.  A miracle!  His hind legs are lifeless.  He wobbles when he walks.  They give him water.  He vomits.  They give him more water and he once again becomes lifeless.  He repeats this cycle three times during the evening and everyone decides he is going to make it after all.  Everyone goes to bed and hopes for the best.

His master wakes up at 5 and rushes to Fred's cage to check on him.  Fred is standing at attention, tail curled and chattering for attention.  No visible side effects are noticed.  It's as if nothing ever happened.  Just as Fred scampered about his domain, he catches a glimpse of the pill box.  His eyes get big.  He darts for the grid of heavenly nuts.  Just as he reaches them, the mistress puts them away in the cupboard.  Fred chatters a bark of disapproval but realizes that this is what needs to happen for his recovery.  Recovery is slow, recovery is hard.  We can only hope that Fred sees that his life can be just as full without those magical nuts.  I am putting my money on Fred.